Collin's Advanced Acting Blog: February 2012

Yeah I am messed up. Aren't we all? I mean really... Think about it. Everyone has something that they aren't proud of--something that they wish they could take back or something that they wish they could change about themselves or about someone else. Me? Well, I wish I could go back in time and ask Amanda Harris out earlier. Gosh! I wish I didn't wait until tonight. Seeing her making out with Bobby Chamberlain and then go into MJ's mom's bedroom and... Well, it hurts! So yeah... I am messed up... I am also suicidal... Is that really a surprise? Have I made you smile one time while you were reading this? I doubt it. I am done pretending to smile all the time. My facial muscles are tired of doing something so... Out of the ordinary. Gosh! Why couldn't I have asked her out when we "ran into each other" while I was walking my dog, Molly? I mean yeah... I live all the way across town in a different building, but, I mean, Molly gets good exercise, right? It is healthy for her... Maybe i am just trying to make sense of going WAY out of the way to see her... I love her... That is why...She is really nice, like, I can't explain it... She is Hot too!!! That is just a bonus 'cause it is her personality and that sexy, raspy-ish voice of hers that I like. I mean I like everything about her... Jeez! I am messed up. So I am going to go up to the roof and then... Not be on the roof. You know... I am going to jump! But it is ok. She will know that it was her fault! I am going to yell her name! Then, when they hose me off the sidewalk, she will feel so bad... I mean, that's not why I am doing it... I am doing 'cause I am done. Done pretending. Done loving I guess... Life isn't worth it... She WAS just with two different guys this month... Maybe I-- I have a chance? Nah! What am I saying? Well, she does smile at me all the time. Maybe I do have a chance. Hmm........